My Best Dream Became my Worst Nightmare

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity. It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness. It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. - Charles Dickens (A tale of two cities).

This quote is a summary of the shared reflection of life. My best dream became my worst nightmare. how did we get here? A question remains and is of greater significance. A greater kind of confusion engulfs the life of the person and one does not know which turn to take: left or right, the result is the same: evil and pain. often they say, choose the one path that's less travelled by, but what of the pain in each paths for nothing is new under the sun, there's nothing that you will do that has never been done before!

Think you have it all? Only to realize that you have nothing. Think you are happy because you are smiling and laughing? What if you are sad and incomplete inside. My best artist, Michael Cretu of the band Enigma (Rivers of Belief) will say, "If you believe in the light, its because of darkness, if you believe in joy, its because of sadness and if you believe in God, its because of the devil." Can negativity then turn into something positive or its because of the fear of evil realities that we embrace positive non-existent things? 

You love something so much, you think you have it all, its your dream, yet your worst nightmare. The harm involved in it is so much greater than the good involved? Call it quits, you love it and cannot let it go. Its harmful, you still cant let it out of sight, out of reach. What to do? Daniel Defoe (In Robinson Crusoe) will tell us of such dilemma between gratitude and negative realities on the ground. while trapped on the island, Robinson Crusoe applies the thesis and anti thesis approach to his life but when all was said and done, he sighed, 'there are situations that one has to pray to be delivered from.' 

The first deliverance is from yourself. You need deliverance from yourself, not any external force for you are the major enemy of yourself. I remember my best dream. 

Seven monks, passing by the road. In their hoods, chanting blessed curses. With their dogs howling unmelodious and incomprehensive psalms. The failure to prostrate at their sight led to severe flogging, with a whip of cords and cursed words reined down upon the victim. At the beauty of their sight you wish to enjoy the status forced upon the rest of humanity but the blasphemous chants and cruel lifestyle is never changed. Their dogs lie in wait to imitate the masters; tear up the enemies of masters and vilify the vulnerable and uphold those who support their masters. Running away wouldn't help as well, they would chase you, grab you by the throat and say, we know you, we know where you stay, we know everything and we know your sins, you cant run away from us!We have the power, you have not.

Opposite direction, lies the queen in rugged dress. I am the other version of you. the one who is waiting for your attention and love. I am you in different form. Yet here you stand, torn up, tired, broken and confused. Which direction to take, you know not. the words ring up again, 'I am you, come do not be afraid, I will break your heart further, I will completely break you down in the name of love, yield to me.' 

The crossroad the confusion. Which dream to follow, you remain stagnant for either way, doom and destruction are inevitable. Your best dream, your worst nightmare! Who will deliver you from despair?